He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
