my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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