Dual....:-)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
