I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
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My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
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I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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