R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
