FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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