i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
