just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
porn star boner night. come get it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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