She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
