Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
