just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
