Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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