Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
