**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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