fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I touched a dick in church today
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
