YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
