Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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