Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
