Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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