She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
