I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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