Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Houston, we have a blender
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
