He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
