:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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