oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Randomize