I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
