Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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