Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
