So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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