I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
