Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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