Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
