Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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