i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
