worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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