dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
