you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
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I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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