So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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