I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
