she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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