BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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