Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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