I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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