Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Randomize
