You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
cat food counts as protein by the way
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize