I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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