I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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