you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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