I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
