he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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