he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize