He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
