Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
