Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
