I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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