I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
