Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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